mistakes

i wish there was a way
to express my feelings
without dread
of rejection
why can't i speak my mind?
i feel like a fool
rushing the game
blindly reading the rules
without any idea where i'm headed
can i find happiness here
or should i move on to another
and play the game once again
i wish i were psychic
able to tell myself what to do
and not regret anything ever again
mistakes i've made
marr my past
and will never fade
they haunt me, every day, every night
every time i find another to love
i somehow get hurt
the tears i've cried never go away
they only hide, waiting for the next time
so they can show their ugliness again.

9/9/98