to the one i loved

let me go.  let me by myself again.
free of the shackles and chains of
my everlasting love for you.  leave
me here to sort through my emotions
and find my sanity.  tell me why you
must continually drag me through
this over and over again.  be honest
with me - why do you keep me
around?  is it to boost your ego?
or am i just a back-up plan,
a substitute friend for your lonely
nights?  am i truly a confidante,
a shoulder for you to lean on,
and a source of comfort in the
late hours of the night when
everyone has gone to bed?
sometimes i feel as if i am
a puppet dangling from your
fingers, a simple toy here
for your amusement.  do my
feelings mean nothing to you?
i honestly can't tell.  i beg
of you to treat me as i
deserve to be treated, and
not as a doll created to
satisfy you.

3/11/00